|I already drank it by the time I took this picture.|
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Saturday, July 19, 2014
I'm not writing it for you.
I'm writing it for me.
Dear [pick one] ---
I am happy for you.
I wish you and your boring girlfriend nothing but the best during your boring life, filled with boring conversations and boring sex which leads to boring children who grow into boring adults and will bore people like me with tales of their boring childhoods.
You and your unexceptional wife will decay into boring old people who cling desperately to the banalities of your long passed youth until you inevitably succumb to some boring illness.
Your friends and relatives, those that outlive you, will tell mind numbing stories about what a swell guy you were and what a pleasant life you lived.
And your children will be sad. Maybe your grandchildren too.
The world will not know that it sloughed off one of its myriad parasites.
You will not know that the gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction, the growing numbness you felt when you looked into your wife's equally vacant eyes, was derived of boredom.
Boredom made you drive your car too fast, and watch too much television, and drink too much on weekends, and buy more furniture, and eat more chicken nuggets, and talk and talk about your glory days, and cheat on your sweet boring wife with girls like me, and grow fat and far too lazy to break out of the monotony you found yourself locked into.
I am happy for you.
You have settled into a state of inertia which is comfortable and easy and safe.
I am happy for her, the one you chose to keep and grant a lifetime of serene stability.
I'm happier for me.
Even if I'm angry, and hurt, and resentful, I can still feel those things in a way that is meaningful, if only to me.
I can, and I will, fuck and cry and love and hate and make and destroy and hurt those around me who are capable of being hurt and regret it later.
I have so much shit to do.
Stay the fuck out of my way.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE
I've only ever been on a motorcycle once. It was pretty cool. I think it'd be even cooler to be driving it. I don't really want to own one, I just want to go for a rip.
GET FUCKED ON AN AIRPLANE
I know everybody wants to. I'm sort of curious as to how often this actually occurs though. It seems like it would be kinda difficult, at least in "economy class" (or "steerage" as I like to call it). I've never flown anything besides steerage.
I have never done any psychedelic drugs. Preferably I'd like to do them in the desert coz that seems like a great idea.
I want a gigantic tattoo of a dead albatross.
|Somethin like this|
Coz fuck albatrosses, amirite?
VISIT MY HOMELAND
And by my "homeland" I mean the places where my male ancestors came from. Soo Macedonia (Gigeroff) and Northern England (Shackleton).
GO TO MARDI GRAS
This would be the ultimate spring break excursion.
HOT DOG TOUR
I love hot dogs. I want to travel around North America more. What would be better than driving around sampling and reviewing the best hot dogs in this beautiful continent? Getting paid to do it, that's what. Anybody want to chip in on this?
There would be absolutely nothing cooler than hunting with a falcon. Zero things. "No, I don't need a shot gun, I have a fucking falcon that kills shit for me." Boom.
SHARK CAGE DIVING
Cage goes in the water. You go in the water. Shark's in the water.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
I picked up a couple bottles of this to try the other week coz it's from Liverpool and the label is pretty catchy.
And it turned out to be a pretty damn excellent beer. It's rich and nutty but kinda crisp too so you could enjoy it when the weather's hot. It would go great with a meal, especially any kind of big, traditional English meal like roast beef (which is what I had it with).
The flavour reminded me a bit of Picaroons so probably they do the same thing to their hops or whatever it is. Hell Bay is a little bit lighter tasting and doesn't have that stickiness to it. But yeah, if you like Picaroons you'll like this. If you like good beer you'll like this.
You can find them online at hellbaybrewing.com.