Tuesday, May 21, 2013

What I Should Be Doing

I just realized that I have been dicking around (which, in this case, means watching Jenna Marbles and eating stuff) for approximately the last six hours. I also realized that there is nothing more terrifying, more soul crushing, or more depressing, than thinking about the things I should be doing. Because there really are a lot of them. And, like everybody else, I have a habit of putting them off til tomorrow, or the next day, or, well, not that day coz, ya know, I'm working and stuff and I couldn't possibly do any of the things before noon. That would involve getting out of bed before eleven. Instead, I'll just do all the benignly self destructive things I normally do, and claim to be trying to get out of the habit of doing. Scary stuff. And, since I hate to suffer alone, I'm gonna share my procrastinative dread with y'all.


Take my clothes off the line before they get rained on. Again.
Shower - and actually clean myself in the shower rather than standing under the water, looking at the bar of soap and thinking about how rubbing soap and hot water on your skin doesn't really make it cleaner at all.
Put on clothes, other than the pyjamas and work boots I have been schlepping around in for the last (x) days.
Make myself something nutritious to eat, such as a salad, or chicken.
Wash the dishes in the sink.
Start inking the comic I pencilled a week and a half ago.
Write something other than inane blog updates, shopping lists, and the word "kill" over and over again in my journal.
Come up with a responsible budget so that I can pay my debts off this summer.
Do something nice for somebody (yeah, this is never going to happen but it's staying on my list coz it makes me feel good).
Be a rockstar.


Think about exercising.
Eat a block of cheese.
Take a nap.
Drink coffee.
Obssessively research whatever it is I'm interested in at the moment.
Smoke 20-30 cigarettes while staring at the road and contemplating the subjective nature of reality.
Drive around aimlessly, listening to music and looking at people's houses to see if anything has changed since yesterday. I like to call this 'neighbourhood watch'.
Make a half assed attempt at looking presentable so I can go to the store and buy more cigarettes.
Check my phone seven hundred times in the hopes that maybe, just maybe somebody texted me (it should be noted that most of the time when somebody does text me, I'm too fucking lazy to text them back).
Read comics.
Look at pictures of shoes, food, men, clothes or sharks online.
Worry about my lack of productivity.
Open a case of beer and call it quits for the day.

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